Don't say the blog is dead!

I made up my mind I was going to find someone who would love me unconditionally three hundred and sixty five days a year, I was still in elementary school at the time - fifth or sixth grade - but I made up my mind once and for all.”

“Wow,” I said. “Did the search pay off?”

“That’s the hard part,” said Midori. She watched the rising smoke for a while, thinking. “I guess I’ve been waiting so long I’m looking for perfection. That makes it tough.”

“Waiting for the perfect love?”

“No, even I know better than that. I’m looking for selfishness. Perfect selfishness. Like, say I tell you I want to eat strawberry shortcake. And you stop everything you’re doing and run out and buy it for me. And you come back out of breath and get down on your knees and hold this strawberry shortcake out to me. And I say I don’t want it anymore and throw it out the window. That’s what I’m looking for.”

“I’m not sure that has anything to do with love,” I said with some amazement.

“It does,” she said. “You just don’t know it. There are time in a girl’s life when things like that are incredibly important.”

“Things like throwing strawberry shortcake out the window?”

“Exactly. And when I do it, I want the man to apologize to me. “Now I see, Midori. What a fool I have been! I should have known that you would lose your desire for strawberry shortcake. I have all the intelligence and sensitivity of a piece of donkey shit. To make it up to you, I’ll go out and buy you something else. What would you like? Chocolate Mousse? Cheesecake?”

“So then what?”

“So then I’d give him all the love he deserves for what he’s done.”

“Sounds crazy to me.”

“Well, to me, that’s what love is…

Murakami 

(You can google the book title if it is really really essential for you to know)

There's Treasure Where?

Call me a depressed fool, but I don't understand life anymore. I'm as clueless as a new born baby. Initially I thought it was the alcohol, but I've been on a dry spell now. So it can't be that. It's not the nicotine either, quit that too. Maybe it's that gap I feel inside. A hole. I can't explain it. You won't understand it. Hell, I don't understand it. But it's there. I can feel it.

This will be my last post here. I don't see the point in it. You'll see all this someday. It probably will be too late by then. Not that it would make a difference if you saw it now. But you can't blame me for trying yes?

I apologise for everything I've ever done. I can't change. It took you a year to realise. It took someone else a month. And some others a minute. But I am sorry I couldn't change. Believe me I tried. Just didn't happen. Maybe if we were actually together it would have been different. Who knows? Alternate reality probably. At least he's living the dream.

I just realised yesterday, you know too much about me. So someday when I'm all famous and shit, you won't come and spill the beans about everything I've done yes? I wouldn't blame you if you did. I never made it up to you for last time. So you can call it revenge. Or what ever the fuck you wanna call it.

We had a good run. If you ever break up with him, I'll be right here. Honest. And I'll never ask you about him.

I know it's not gonna happen, but one can dream right?

I love you baby girl. So much.

I'll run away now and not bother you. No more birthday wishes also. Promise. I'll try.

So see you when I see you?

A Pointless Post

Time to be honest. I don't know shit about Calvin and Hobbes. Hell I had to google the spelling. And I think doublechocolate... is a really cheesy name. Knowing the creator of this blog, it came as a complete surprise. As far as I could judge her, I never put her out as one of those corny teen-aged girls. Actually let me correct that. She's not even teen-aged.

Back to imaginary situations. In this one let's have a boy who thinks he knows everything about the girl he loves. And WHAM! he finds out all this while he has her date of birth wrong. Say it was a year later. And he's all upset about it because he assumed he knew everything about her.

What is he supposed to do? Find a nice corner and cry himself to sleep? Take out all his anger on her for not telling him? Or FaceConcrete himself for not bothering to listen harder?

You know what's the worst part about that scenario? Realising for the last one and a half years your phone lock code has no meaning. Worst feeling ever, take my word for it.

The Mother of all Questions

I was certain I'd posted here before. But anyway, here goes.

Contrary to popular beliefs this blog is dead. As dead as my great grandfather.

So me posting here isn't really going to reach out to anyone. Actually just one person. But that's the point.

What if I told you there's a fine line between being loved and being hated? Would you agree?
I'm not really the expert when it comes to these matters. But I have a fair idea. Learning from experience you see.

Let's take a situation where you get a second chance at love, assuming obviously that you failed the first time.  
So you have another shot at dating the same girl and everything's going smoothly, except for the occasional fights. And WHAM! out of no where, she tells you she's dating someone else.

What are you supposed to do? Appreciate the fact that she's being honest? High-fiving yourself because you saw it coming? Or facepavement yourself for not trying harder to keep her?

Funny as it may seem I did all three. And now I've spent a week introspecting. I've realised a lot of things and over the course of my ranting on this blog I will reveal everything. Assuming obviously that I don't get kicked out of here.

So I'm going to leave you now, with a question. A question I've been asking all my life. And probably will for the rest of it.

Where is the love?

“I've been making a list of the things they don't teach you at school.
They don't teach you how to love somebody. They don't teach you how to
be famous. They don't teach you how to be rich or how to be poor. They
don't teach you how to walk away from someone you don't love any
longer. They don't teach you how to know what's going on in someone
else's mind. They don't teach you what to say to someone who's dying.
They don't teach you anything worth knowing.”
-Neil Gaiman

I haven't read a lot of books by Neil Gaiman, so I shall not claim to
be a big fan. Heck,I haven't even read a few. I've just read one and I
suspect it wouldn't even have been one had it not been a gift from a
very dear friend.

I came across this particular quote and it made me pause and ponder.
Its true. No one ever teaches you what to say to someone who's dying.
Your heart is breaking but you cannot utter a single meaningful word. But
then again, we don't usually have to face this situation when we're
young.

What we do have to deal with are friends who lose someone close to
them at an age where they can't even grasp the reality of it. They're
as clueless as you are. As shocked that this couldve happened. Angry
at the world, at God, at everyone.
You're shocked too. Too shocked for words. All that you can stutter is
'Take care', 'I'm there for you,if you need me to be.' and coming up
with even these two simple sentences requires you to apply an immense
amount of pressure on your brain.

All you can do,at times like these, is to let your actions speak in
stead of your confused stutters and mumbles. Sometimes,you don't need
to speak. All you need to do is listen.

Everybody is dying to talk and the nicest thing you can do sometimes,
is to let them.

Well, That About Wraps It Up For God

'I refuse to prove that I exist,' says God, 'for proof denies faith, and without faith I'm nothing.'

'But,' says Man, 'the Babel fish is a dead giveaway, isn't it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't. QED.'

'Oh dear,' says God, 'I hadn't thought of that,' and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic."

- The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (a wholly remarkable book)

No, the blog isn't dead yet.

..Once upon a time
There was a girl
She lived in a valley
Let's call her Sally.

That's what I come up with when I strain my brain for a story. Needless to say, I suck at it. But well, not everyone hated the earlier posts so I'll take that as a good sign. A sign that I shouldn't let the blog die. 

I've been thinking too less and sleeping too much recently and I've realised its not good. Ofcourse, it makes me happy. I'm doing what I love doing, which is nothing. Hence, I'm not trying to be good at anything. Hence, I'm not facing competition in any field. Hence, I never have to think, "..shit, I'm not the best at what I do." Hence, I'm happy.

*sigh*

If only it were that easy to be happy. 

Happiness is a journey, not a destination. 

Well, I resent that. Why oh why can't it be the destination? You work hard and reach a stage where you can be nothing but happy and there's no going back. 

Then there's another one , 'Everyone wants to be happy. No one wants to be in pain. But you can't have a rainbow, without any rain.'

So we suffer through the rain for the rainbow. But have you ever noticed how short-lived the rainbow is? You see a rainbow and you go, "Looooooook! A rainbow! Wow! Where? There!..Where!? There!..ohh..wow" and in a minute, its gone. Ok, maybe its a little more than a minute but still, the way I see it, I should at least get five hours of rainbow for an hour of light rains. 

That's the way it should be.

But, of course, it isn't. 

Ofcourse it's a whole day of harsh rains, another half a day of light drizzling, and only then, you get a glimpse of the rainbow.

Its cheating. Its not fair and there's no one you can complain to about it because hey, that's life. Life isn't fair and its almost never unfair in your favour.

A super genius once said: "Expecting life to be fair to you because you are a good person is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian."

I only call him a super genius because I can't recall his name. Maybe it was a her. But that's beside the point.
The moral of the story? Don't expect a hen not to peck you if you're a vegetarian and don't expect other animals to be nice to you either. Why? Because life isn't fair and animals aren't smart enough to tell if you're a noble vegetarian or a not so noble non-vegetarian.

So enjoy the rainbow. Even if its for a minute & don't cry when the rains come back again..after a little more than a minute.

Its not like you can do anything about it. Might as well learn how to dance in the rain.